i make noises and type keys

I'm Shawn Baker, audio producer and web content churner.

I love engaging audio content. Generally, I have a big interest the esoteric, along with the ephemeral or fleeting nature of certain aspects of culture, the manner in which such subjects are (or aren't) documented, and how the passage of time affects the legacy. That's the liberal-arts-degree way of saying I find bizarre people and the manifestations of their obsessions fascinating.

Creative writing is a small passion of mine that I always resolve to do more of. Some sample monologues, short essays, and a ridiculous joke piece are on Medium.

noises + code = good times


Non-commercial or corporate radio has given me paychecks for over 6 years. I DJ'd jazz & an all request show, wrote news copy, turned dials, and spent the bulk of that time second-in-command of "Production", writing/voicing/producing commercials and longform programming for Cumulus Radio in the DFW market. It was exhausting.

"commercial" voice reel

"character" voice reel

quick "dj" reel

My voice has been featured on a plethora of mediums (radio/TV/web/audiobook, spot/longform) for clients like AT&T, Dickey's BBQ, Main Event, El Fenix, Old Navy, and many more. I've also recorded/mixed/mastered songs for DFW musicians, most of them cool people who I charged far too little.

By the way, here are some scripts I've written: Moxley Manor Haunted House (1|2), Stateside Pies & Beer, and Willard HVAC.

"screams (halloween medley)" spot

"the anger room" spot

"autorama" spot

"club icon (thursday nights)" spot

"medieval times (new years 2013)" spot

I run a modest home studio, a dead room with many mics and a Mackie board that's available for any and all freelance. My children sleep above it, though, so if it's loud it better be something with a sick bass beat because my daughter loves to shake it.

i do many kinds of work...

writing, voicing, recording, producing, consulting

...for all sorts of stuff

radio, tv, commercials, spots, longform, audiobooks, and beyond

More recently, I've been the weekly producer of a financial talk radio program that's syndicated across 4 stations. I also consulted with North Texas Radio for the Blind, where I streamlined their studio processes and assisted with the transfer of their programming operations to a hush hush secret unannounced hot-shot acquirer (and word's out, it's the Booker T. Washington High School for the Performing and Visual Arts). KEOM has me on staff to DJ for them on a WideOrbit setup; I get to play 60s, 70s, & 80s hits. It's fun.

i like pizza


I've been programming, for the web or otherwise, for over 12 years. Lots of LAMP stacks, HTML/CSS, JavaScript, and some Bash and Python tossed in. Use the right tool for the job. Sometimes the job is goofy as hell.

A record of friendship

Good friends need a place to engage, and to reminisce. Lardpirates.com has been around for 12 years, as a hub for a handful of people to write articles, post blogs, tell stories, and draw pictures. ~PHP, MySQL, in desperate need of a tune-up.

Vent, don't whine

I found FML too passive. The full-throttle, spittin' virtiol rant is a far better way to burn off steam; the hyperbole usually breeds a level of contentment. And hopefully something funny to read. This is Screw You, Pal. ~PHP, MySQL.

Conspiracy to commit comic sans

Back when I was starting off in corporate radio, I worked a graveyard shift, sitting through Coast 2 Coast AM. I made a terrible website, with honest to god HTML tables, presenting the world through the eyes of a crazy. It's terrible. It's how he wanted it. It's Glory Hole Illuminati Secrets: America's Zionic Truth Tugs. ~PHP, MySQL.

A stupid joke

Say what you want about ensemble island vacation television program Lost. Maybe we can discuss it some time. What I do know is when I heard about "zero character communication" app Yo, I had to make a game (chore) out of the combination of the two: Yo The Button. ~PHP, Yo app.

Manage my tmux

I like tmux. I don't like having to do manual setups after reboots. Written in Bash (and originally for screen), t.sh first generates a config file where you can input your regular windows/panels. Then, use the script to create your usual setup as-needed, and jump into whatever window you want from command line very easily. ~Bash.

Now animate my tmux

In my endless quest to add flashing lights and colors to my life, I wrote a Python script that takes inputted text and then abuses modulus to animate it. "String manipulation by ticks", or smbt.py, gets used primarily with my tmux statusbars (after setting its refresh interval to one second) to animate useful data that's usually static. I also have it curse at me. ~Python.

did i mention i like pizza

good times

Sometimes I get to combine both aspects of my professional work. When I do, it makes me grin hard.

Slurping and drooling and loud noises

The notorious Jerkcity web comic is at best an incessant (more accurately, relentless) daily tour de force over the last fifteen+ years. It's at different moments any combination of: surreal, non-sensical, topical, culturally astute, technologically aware, witty, vile, obscene, intelligent, purposeless, entirely stupid, etc etc etc -- all while being rendered through the long-dead Microsoft Comic Chat. Its creators have even ticked off Wikipedia to such a level that Wikipedia refuses to acknowledge that Jerkcity even exists.

Because no one did it already, I made a repository/Chrome extension/bookmarklet for audio productions of Jerkcity episodes. It's not pretty, but that would go against the spirit of Jerkcity, wouldn't it? It's called Jerkcity Hi-Fi. ~PHP generating static JSON from tagged mp3s, Apache .htaccess wizardry, custom Google Analytics reporting, complex Twilio integration for phone shenanigans, Yo app tie-in, ~15k downloads a month.

Lo-fi hi-nsfw

Canadian musician Tony Jeffrey has been making music for over 30 years. A lot of music, most recently and prolifically under the popular alter-ego Tonetta. (S)he's been documented all over, there was an indiegogo campaign to raise money for the struggling artist, and his YouTube accounts have been taken down with such regularity that the current channel link list is damn near constantly incorrect.

UPDATE: Some of the above links don't even work anymore; he currently does not have a homepage. He cycles through "representatives" very often, through a harsh cycle ending in anger and chaos.

Keep on truckin', Tony.

To keep some sort of infinitely-incomplete record, I threw together a mini-wiki to keep as much music and video archived as possible. It's half NSFW song database, half shrine to a living bohemian legend: Tonetta.net. ~PHP, MySQL.

No good very bad hockey talk

Hockey is a fun sport I pretend to know things about. My friends know more. We discuss, usually weekly.

It's a hockey podcast that's just an excuse to see old friends: Terrible Hockey Cast. ~PHP, MySQL.